Starring:

Matt!

Keith!

Mark!

Chris!

Worst movie ever!

I dunno man, the thing is the movie sucked, but we had some good times!

"That pizza's not gonna eat itself, bitch!"

And then also, uh, "Can you take care of the baby?"
"How many times have I heard that?"

Yeah but man, that was fucking weak.

It was pretty funny: "I'm gonna tell you something. Nobody likes you." The long pause. Fucking, "It's about a goofy kid with problems. You'll love it."

{Time passes while we talk about something else.}

Back to the movie – oh yeah, it sucked.

Yeah, nothing else to say about that. 30 second fucking review. "Yeah, it sucked."

I dunno Keith, I kinda liked it!

And like, those other guys, they're like, alright, they'll be like the humorous commentary part of the movie; they weren't really that fucking funny.

But the couple were so cute together, weren't they cute, Keith? They were so cute. Fuck them! Fuck!

And that whole, I mean did they drag that kitten thing on long enough? I mean, fuck.

And also like that man, she plays a lot of roles as girls as not very respectable roles...

Slut!

Slut! Slut!

{Matt and Keith get in Matt's car, don't unlock the back doors, and in a burst of spontaneous comedy drive away without Chris and Mark. We missed a significant amount of laughter before it occured to us to start recording.}

So we've just left Mark and Chris, uh, alone in the rain while we went to get food.

Sucks to be those boys. Hopefully they are understanding of the kind of comedy we're trying to set up here. I was putting my seatbelt on, my door was unlocked, they could have opened my door and unlocked it. If someone would have opened a door, that would have been it, but no, they made no effort! And I'm sorry, I can't support that!

We'll learn 'em yet!

You don't get shit in this life for free, it's that simple! You've gotta get your shit together! Lay your life on the line!

{At Wendy's.}

Wendy's Girl:
Hi, welcome to Wendy's, may I take your order please?

Can I get two number sixes with root beer?

Wendy's Girl:
Is that everything for tonight?

Yup.

Wendy's Girl:
$12.86, please drive up, thank you.

{Waiting for one of our burgers.}

This must be truly baffling, too. Maybe not truly, we're pretty fucked up usually, but still. Uncalled for at the very least.

{at this point Matt and Keith are actually shocked by and slightly uncomfortable with their own laughter}

Oh man!

Jesus!

Fuck!

Definitely uncalled for... but I mean, it really doesn't make any sense why we do these kind of things. We're all friends! It's not like we don't like them or we wanted to ditch them.

{It takes awhile for the burgers so Keith decides to go in and get some food for Mark and Chris, as penance. By that time they had managed to walk all the way to Wendy's on their own, in the rain.}

Way to leave us there, guys! Fuck!

We didn't think it would take this long. Seriously, we were gonna go through the drive through, come right back, and laugh at you.

With burgers in mouthes.

You think this is bad, we recorded it. We've got like ten minutes of us laughing.

It better be the best laughter I've ever heard at our expense.

{And it was.}

{Chris was quick to forgive us, Mark would hardly speak on the drive home, but eventually, he too offered us redemptive forgiveness. This time.}

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