Gone In 60 Seconds Rough Transcript
Starring:
Keith!
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Dan!
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Lars!
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Matt!
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It wasn't good, it wasn't bad, it was there, I watched it, oh well.
I actually really liked it.
I actually found it quite entertaining.
It was quite cool. It was one of the things, if it was like, a little shorter I could see watching it twice.
I would have to say that is one of the best movies we've seen here.
Oh, definitely! I mean, we've seen some dogs!
Oh, seen here?
Yeah!
Hell no, man! Fucking Titan A.E. kicked ass!
I actually liked Titan A.E...
Shut up!
Here we go again...
But anyway...
When the guy fell it's like falling technology hasn't improved since Robocop 1. Just fucking yaaah!
Yeah, that was pretty dumb...
That was pretty fake, and it was kinda gay that he fell on the coffin, but at least he didn't fall in the coffin broke the lid closed. 'Cause that woulda been...
That woulda been hilarious, man!
It woulda been... see, it's hilarious because it didn't happen. If it had happened we'd be like "Oh my god..."
And man, that Angelina Jolie: Tap it with a spoon, mate!
That kid, though, the kid who got shot; he shoulda died. "I just want to come with you guys and do the carjacking!" Fuck you!
And you know what, there was tit in that movie! Not to sound like a broken record again...
There has to be a lot of tit for me to consider it having tit.
No no no. There was token tit.
There was no nipple. I saw no nipple. There's no tit.
True. But there was token tit.
If there's no nipple, there's no tit.
Token doesn't count.
There was a nice ass.
There you go.
Everyone saw the nice ass!
Granted, that, that was pretty sweet. But, there was no tit...
Better than nothing!
...and you don't rent movies on how much ass there were, you rent it on how much tit there was.
Unless you're {???} on the types of ass: If it's hairy bobbin' man ass, it's a bad movie.
That was pretty funny: "You lazy ass sack of shit! Anyone can pull a fucking gun!"
"You need a role model!"
{Discussing moving to evade the evil car-shark}
He would have had to relocate his whole family, 'cause he said, "I'll kill your mom..."
Yeah, but that's three people! It's not... it's not like a big fucking migration here, it's three fucking people!
Your momma's so fat, she hopped on the scale and it said "To Be Continued"!
That's pretty fucking good...
It woulda been sweet, but totally unrealistic if they hadda stolen all the cars back out of the impound lot...
That woulda kicked ass!
It woulda been pretty funny, though.
Then the guy could turn around and go, "Wha!?"
That guy woulda had to get some serious pimp on, though.
The little plot problems in that movie didn't bug me that much. As per other movies where it's just like, "Ah! Oh come on ugh! Fuck you guys!"
The only really bad part of that movie was The Jump. That was like, when he jumped the bus in Speed. It was just as bad as that.
Yeah, but the bus in Speed, you can like, totally see how they've got two guys holding different lengths of fishing twine going {jerking arms around}. And they're drunk when they do it. Although it was sorta, like... y'know. You knew it was gonna happen.
As soon as you saw the back of it down, you're like: There's only one way out of this!
But I think the reason the small plot problems weren't a problem is just like, okay, they're getting ready to steal some cars, and it maybe took a little longer than it's supposed to. But then, "Oh yeah, they're stealing cars!" Y'know; that's what you came to get and that's what you got.
And, it was one big car chase. And that is beautiful.
The gun fight at the end seemed a little hollow after the fucking car charade.
{On the way to the car Dan does Lowrider, with Keith and Matt backup}
Is this gonna be part of every review now? Like, fucking, singing at the end? For the ladies.
Now for all the ladies...
{End}
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