MARK!	CHRIS!	DOWNLOAD THE MP3!	KEITH!	MATT!

Why does Goblin get killed in the nuts?

I know! The ultimate injustice right there.

At first I thought it was, you know, midsection, right in his balls!

"Parker, you're busting my balls here, Parker."

"Don't tell my son that I was stabbed in the balls..." Yeah I gotta say, even though the Goblin looked kinda dumb ass that really is a far better explanation than NYACHACHACHA! Goblin! Pumpkin bomb the hell out of the place!

Man, I love how in Mallrats though, how that story goes: "You know, this is just like an issue of Spider Man I wrote. Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy go lingerie shopping together... of course then the Green Goblin shows up and he pumpkin bombed the hell out of the place. But you know what, it was almost exactly like this."

Yeah, so, the swinging stuff looked awesome, some of the other computer stuff was a little shaky.

When he's crawling up the wall in his shitty suit, that looked rough man, that looked rough.

Although I gotta admit, Parker made the right choice at the end. Wait a minute, no he didn't.

I thought the Goblin's death was a little lame.

That's what I said to Keith, right after he died I'm like that wasn't the last battle I thought was gonna happen-

Mark, where were the lazers in the gloves?

That's what I was thinking too! Like, the lazer gloves...

Rain, Kirsten Dunst: So awesome.

Oh yeah, giant breasts, I love 'em.

Why didn't he fuck her, though? Why? Why?

He's retarded.

He is! 'Cause you think, he's like oh, you know, you get too close to me you're gonna get fucked by-

But she's already close to you!

Exactly!

	beep

I gotta say, obviously they're making another one, the villain, Mysterio, it better be.

I'm hoping for, you know, The Sinister Six.

Never happen.

And Mysterio's just not gonna happen either, he was always a second stringer, I mean...

Hey, fuck you, alright?

That's the only reason they let Kevin Smith kill him is that no one cares about Mysterio.

Well I care about him, and I cried every page of that issue! Can't go wrong with Venom. He's got the mack daddy skills.

Venom's so gay...

Venom's too weird, though, fucking alien symbiote...

But I mean, I don't know what other choice they got, I mean they gotta use Kingpin for the Punisher movie. Or the Daredevil movie, everyone fights the Kingpin.

They already made a Punisher movie.

But they're making a good one this time.

That one was good.

I actually never saw it but I heard otherwise.

I have also heard...

Fuck that, I used to love that movie!

Dolph Lundgren. He comes in peace.

But yeah, not too bad. I think the sitting up close made it all crazy.

Yeah, like, the swinging, it was all about it, even if the movie sucked just him swinging through town was fucking great.

Yeah, I was waiting for him when he was fighting the Goblin to make his shield out of web and a sword out of web and then-

No no no no no!

The motorboat!

The motorboat with the working motor, I mean-

When in the hell did he do that?

You can't find disfunction in that!

He did that in one of the old, old episodes, fucking... it was one of the ones where they took the Astro Robin Hood or whatever, you remember that crappy show?

Yeah, Rocket Robin Hood.

Rocket Robin Hood...

That was canadian.

Didn't he make parachutes out of..?

Oh yeah, all the time!

	beep

So yeah, yeah, good. I'd say good. Definitely give it a good.

I'd give it a good, but not great.

Right. Although as far as superhero movies go...

Oh yeah, I'm not even sure if it was, I think it might have been better than X-Men.

Oh yeah, totally! It was a lot better than fucking X-Men.

	beep

Vin Diesel would be a good Kingpin.

Ever notice how that Triple X thing looks almost exactly like the XFL logo? I'm like, is this an XFL movie? Cool, booya! Right in the theatre.

Anyway...

And right over here...

Right over here, Matt Jenkins! MJ. MJ!

MJ!